late for his 3 AM screaming appointment

His brother’s name must be “Go”

This is why I have 5% window tint.

Nothing says “ancient mystery” like a trip to Alabama

If sleep deprivation had a profile picture

I’m looking for a fork and some dignity.

“it’s fine”…a full PowerPoint presentation

I guess I’m too dry and soggy for this establishment

Tomorrow’s lunch is currently a beautiful memory.

Finally, a paper plate that survives a steak

poker face

No one will ever ask to stay over

I’m not a regular adult, I’m a cool adult

Congratulations

The sign says “No,” his eyes say “Maybe”

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