“Photo store? You mean Instagram?”

Darwin didn’t predict the blorb phase

“That outfit didn’t survive the hour.”

This dam’s got a monster shine

Sand, sun, and stunning self-contradictions

Gardening? I planted myself in bed

Bathroom? Nah, this Lyle’s octagon

Renaissance chic meets modern frustration

“Change? I don’t even rotate”

“This root canal hit my soul”

step 4: Pray someone else finishes it

heavy meow-chinery

“You’re wrong, but passionately confident”

Wood you believe I’m this powerful?

Alarm rang. So did the microwave.

next page button

Join the conversation