The Secret Life of Pets

In my mind, I am the asteroid

Clever Phteven

a rare Pokémon

slowly waddle away

Best holiday card I’ve ever seen

a personality trait

A majestic noodle

Nature is healing; the sidewalk tigers are returning

cheat code

The sign says “No,” his eyes say “Maybe”

No one will ever ask to stay over

This is why I have 5% window tint.

late for his 3 AM screaming appointment

Staring into the cotton abyss

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