Alarm rang. So did the microwave.

Wood you believe I’m this powerful?

heavy meow-chinery

step 4: Pray someone else finishes it

“You’re wrong, but passionately confident”

“This root canal hit my soul”

“Change? I don’t even rotate”

Renaissance chic meets modern frustration

This dam’s got a monster shine

Darwin didn’t predict the blorb phase

Gardening? I planted myself in bed

“That outfit didn’t survive the hour.”

Bathroom? Nah, this Lyle’s octagon

Sand, sun, and stunning self-contradictions

“Photo store? You mean Instagram?”

Presidential+Candidate+Cocktails.
Presidential Candidate Cocktails.
Ron+Swanson%3A+Bacon+Shortage+PSA.
Ron Swanson: Bacon Shortage PSA.
How+to+piss+off+your+nerdy+friends.
How to piss off your nerdy friends.
Harry+Potter+and+the+Seven+Stages+of+Denial.
Harry Potter and the Seven Stages of Denial.
Join the conversation
Today+has+been+a+ruff+day.
Today has been a ruff day.
The+Reverse+Centaur.
The Reverse Centaur.
Oh+hey+Mother+Nature%21
Oh hey Mother Nature!
First+day+of+Organic+Chemistry.
First day of Organic Chemistry.
Teen+Pregnancy+Barbie%21
Teen Pregnancy Barbie!
Tell+me+your+secrets.
Tell me your secrets.
Pedodog+strikes+again.
Pedodog strikes again.
How+I+felt+playing+Slenderman.
How I felt playing Slenderman.