My brain treats bedtime like a talent show

“The tongue sticking out means I’m concentrating”

personal attack on rock bands

No paper means I am officially a ghost!

Delete Tinder, we are hiring a wizard

Gods, I actually had a social life then

1000/10

Thanks for validating my deepest, darkest paranoia

He has been a very good bronze boy

Great, now this song is permanently stuck inside

Two rejections balanced out by one massive win

from “no banana” to “proud mama”

That is enough relationship discourse for this decade

Close enough…

Michelin stars mean nothing to a toddler

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