I’m looking for a fork and some dignity.

Nothing says “ancient mystery” like a trip to Alabama

Finally, a paper plate that survives a steak

I guess I’m too dry and soggy for this establishment

This is why I have 5% window tint.

If sleep deprivation had a profile picture

late for his 3 AM screaming appointment

His brother’s name must be “Go”

Oh, is it 9:00 already?

Staring into the cotton abyss

Leg day was successful

The couch is too far

Traffic is moving slowly today

Chips, beer, and fear

The mothership can wait

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