I am using my foot anyway…

I guess we live in a castle

Boil ’em, mash ’em, rent ’em

History books need to update the wonder list

my cat’s daily motivation poster

Finally, an explanation that makes sense

a very rare, blubbery succulent

text message is arriving in 4K

looking for his lost ring

My favorite sleep position is “blinking too long”

Imagine trying to wrestle a wild prosciutto

My social battery requires literal photosynthesis now

The Airbnb cleaning crew is getting intense

“And Team Canada is currently taking a nap”

I am a solid ten for exactly four minutes

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