dark lord’s secret grocery list?

dairy, but dramatic

organic passion delivered

cones are imaginary, violence is real

Old AC: “I am the Arctic”

Half angel, half baked potato

When you skip leg day but not face day

The adrenaline hits when you’re 2 seconds late

Emotional stability never tasted so good

The Sandler Era of parenting

New sport: Extreme Barefooting

compostable toxins

Crying, but for classy reasons

Cat-epillar

Baby’s first word: beep boop

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