catfished

finally, a house built for my emotional baggage

Me eating snacks in bed while online shopping: living like the king they swore loyalty to

snack radar never sleeps

IQ 140, eye contact 0

catmas

quantum kiss

corporate bark

barkforce one

shakespeare spoke prose; we speak phone autocorrect

family group chat has no survivors

proof that hoarding is simply future planning

clinic built entirely of dad jokes

three perfect pixels

he served pepperoni and emotional realism

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