Extreme nail cutting.

*media coverage intensifies*

I can’t believe you’ve done this…

…and the *Indians* moved to Oklahoma, where they lived happily ever after

Used blood for lease.

When your significant other cat[ches] you cheating…

Inner beaty is your Trump card.

A brave new world we live in!

Flew better than the MAX…

Safety first, bork later.

Some people don’t even need a wire tap…

He’s tryin’ his best…

Gravestone of Elija Bond, Inventor of the Ouija Board.

I do love a salad…

My picnic now…