Those pants are holding a lot of secrets

“Haha, yeah…”

Taking the edge off? More like ending it

My summer body is officially well done

Now my family just checks my pulse

Let’s hibernate…

looks like a frozen block of lasagna

“anti-sadness” cheat code

George Lucas is furiously writing a script now

This is what happens when dyslexia takes over

Too short to go home, too long to exist

I too want to become furniture for felines

Perspective is hard when you’re carbs-deep in bed

It’s his universe

“Thanks for the buffet, here is some misery”

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