My phone ringtone is a complete mystery

He is the captain of this vehicle now

“Back in my day, remotes had actual buttons”

Life is way too short for boring books

Give this man a PhD in parking law

“Imagine only having two legs, truly tragic”

apologize to him immediately

A beautiful circle of absolute trust issues

Woke up a one, currently at a three

One more birthday and she can’t use doors

She’s already cooler than everyone in middle school

One more cup and Vienna is next

The dark side has a very strict manager

I don’t even have patience to boil water

My last two brain cells trying to flirt

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