No one will ever ask to stay over

poker face

“it’s fine”…a full PowerPoint presentation

Tomorrow’s lunch is currently a beautiful memory.

I’m looking for a fork and some dignity.

Nothing says “ancient mystery” like a trip to Alabama

Finally, a paper plate that survives a steak

I guess I’m too dry and soggy for this establishment

This is why I have 5% window tint.

If sleep deprivation had a profile picture

late for his 3 AM screaming appointment

His brother’s name must be “Go”

Oh, is it 9:00 already?

Staring into the cotton abyss

Who left these onions here?

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