Sad Ted and the Suicide Hotline

always start a conversation by hooking them with a fact

always practice safe porking

spiders use their eyes

but the bathtub isn’t always empty. take no chances

welcome to jurassic park!

squirrel art

set your dvr!

stab the crab

this should be interesting

“You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone, and we are all part of the same compost pile.”

and now he’s just committed to the bit

gonna need to buy a whole new bed

dragonheart reboot idea i’d watch

cry harder

there isn’t a big enough cringe to describe how this makes me feel