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I just got a new pen but I keep missing the paper…

I just got a new pen but I keep missing the paper...
dad meltdown pending
dad meltdown pending
that’s a big nope
that’s a big nope
the things influencers will do for a picture…
the things influencers will do for a picture…
i’m ‘shocked’ it was abandoned
i’m ‘shocked’ it was abandoned
luckily there were no icebergs nearby
luckily there were no icebergs nearby
truth
truth
stops for ducks, still wins gold
stops for ducks, still wins gold
he’s about to order some delivery lasagna
he’s about to order some delivery lasagna
some fish like it rough
some fish like it rough
this is what salt looks like under an electron microscope
this is what salt looks like under an electron microscope
always check your grammar
always check your grammar
this is the kind of dad i want to be
this is the kind of dad i want to be
seemed like a fair trade at the time
seemed like a fair trade at the time
guess i’m not getting Kate Hudson a present this holiday season
guess i’m not getting Kate Hudson a present this holiday season
time is money
time is money
Bryce+Canyon%2C+Utah
Bryce Canyon, Utah
So+friggan+lonely.
So friggan lonely.
The+Assassin%26%238217%3Bs+Teapot
The Assassin’s Teapot
The+internet+appreciates+a+good+dough+nut.
The internet appreciates a good dough nut.
Join the conversation
What+Vitamin+C+looks+like+under+a+microscope.
What Vitamin C looks like under a microscope.
This+is+hard+science
This is hard science
Get+trashed+on.
Get trashed on.
The+back+of+the+Hoover+Dam+before+it+filled+with+water%2C+circa+1936.
The back of the Hoover Dam before it filled with water, circa 1936.
A+spot+for+everything.
A spot for everything.
I+blame+Mary+Poppins
I blame Mary Poppins
Family+matters.+Be+there.
Family matters. Be there.
The+riots+in+Paris+are+getting+out+of+control.
The riots in Paris are getting out of control.