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Martha, Martha, Martha.

Martha, Martha, Martha.
i’d be speeding too
i’d be speeding too
it’s not the *most* embarrassing thing that could have happened
it’s not the *most* embarrassing thing that could have happened
no one knows what happened to it
no one knows what happened to it
omg so often
omg so often
we were trained to be complete wrecks
we were trained to be complete wrecks
would you like an egg in these trying times, god?
would you like an egg in these trying times, god?
giddy up!
giddy up!
mine
mine
his resume was stellar
his resume was stellar
the right for clouds to bare arms
the right for clouds to bare arms
we’re all just anxious cucumbers
we’re all just anxious cucumbers
the smoke monster always finds me
the smoke monster always finds me
mom knew exactly what was gonna happen and said, “not my problem”
mom knew exactly what was gonna happen and said, “not my problem”
my money is on literally a duck. why? why the hell not
my money is on literally a duck. why? why the hell not
someone check in on halloween
someone check in on halloween
jumanji
jumanji
did+it+hurt%3F
did it hurt?
pupper+chooses+you
pupper chooses you
forest+dwelling+sea+lion
forest dwelling sea lion
Join the conversation
the+appropriate+number+should+be+throw+it+in+the+trash
the appropriate number should be throw it in the trash
be+one+with+the+bread
be one with the bread
a+haiku+about+cats
a haiku about cats
and+now+so+do+i
and now so do i
Bruce+Willis+gets+his+own+category+at+the+Razzies+this+year
Bruce Willis gets his own category at the Razzies this year
now+you+don%26%238217%3Bt+have+to+read+the+books
now you don’t have to read the books
who%26%238217%3Bs+a+good+human%3F
who’s a good human?
smells+like+school+dinners
smells like school dinners