I’m not sure what race I am…
the church of cheese is the only church you could convince me to attend
japan rewards employees who don’t smoke. would this work where you live?
i’ll be your dungeon master if you’ll be my paladin
don’t look down! Would you sleep on the side of a mountain like this?
it happens to the best of us ‘lil dude.
How could someone be so cruel
you should have just bought snacks!
there’s a very limited window between an omelet and scrambled eggs
the learning how to season starter pack that any amateur chef needs in their pantry
michael’s store employees use the honor system
let’s hear about your love lives via literature!
it’s the only way to make the calls stop
wife created sign to let neighbors know that new grass was on the way
fine, i’ll do it myself!
if you set your toaster on fire, you should probably just order in every meal
The hero this city needs.
Cake reflexes on point.
Be thankful to those who support you.
<3 u 4 eva
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David Blaine after a trick
Forgot your password, did you?
My mom describing my Christmas Spirit
coming in for a hðŸ‘eðŸ‘lðŸ‘lðŸ‘o
Moby who now?!
The most American bumper sticker
Check, check, bloodbath.