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This is my resume now…

This is my resume now...
Pizza that cuts itself.
Pizza that cuts itself.
Texting for seniors.
Texting for seniors.
Why Tom Hanks is awesome.
Why Tom Hanks is awesome.
Tramp Stamps for butterflies.
Tramp Stamps for butterflies.
Cold is relative.
Cold is relative.
The Segway demographic.
The Segway demographic.
How Stone Temple Pilots came to be.
How Stone Temple Pilots came to be.
Rarely a happy hero.
Rarely a happy hero.
I smoke for religious reasons.
I smoke for religious reasons.
But who gave her the cigarette?
But who gave her the cigarette?
How to BFF.
How to BFF.
Remedial twerking class.
Remedial twerking class.
Favorite opening to a movie.
Favorite opening to a movie.
wat?
wat?
I love this song, it’s a hoot!
I love this song, it’s a hoot!
or+your+fire+back
or your fire back
smells+like+school+dinners
smells like school dinners
this+security+cat+looks+like+he%26%238217%3Bs+seen+some+things
this security cat looks like he’s seen some things
the+ones+in+the+back+are+having+more+fun
the ones in the back are having more fun
Join the conversation
death+by+hot+dog
death by hot dog
forest+dwelling+sea+lion
forest dwelling sea lion
kill+the+beast
kill the beast
still+eatin+tho
still eatin tho
well+this+is+horrifying
well this is horrifying
let%26%238217%3Bs+fight
let’s fight
the+appropriate+number+should+be+throw+it+in+the+trash
the appropriate number should be throw it in the trash
now+you+don%26%238217%3Bt+have+to+read+the+books
now you don’t have to read the books