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The dating scene as you age.
967 AWESOME
154 WTW
153 BORING
Alfred Hitchcock flashing his résumé, circa 1974.
Keanu cosplay is getting way out of hand.
Seems like a real page turner.
The baked goods have spoken!
Listen lowercase mike, you seem like a nice guy and all…
Apprehend her by the pussy.
Poker is lit.
Love yourself, if you’ll allow it.
Just twin things.
I’m honestly not sure which group I’m more worried about…
Waking a cat is equal to 30 years of mediocre karma.
This beat gonna ruin my morning.
I would listen to the Billy Buscemi crossover.
The reboot has a different vibe to it… [right to left]
It’s as good as free real estate!
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It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel
i was without a phone once for 12 hours and it’s amazing how much attention i was able to pay to other things
this is not the car you want to end up behind on the freeway
this is how many sides a circle has
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modern parenting – resisting the urge to throw your child in the squishmallow display
Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”
wind up smart car – for when you run out of gas but still have a block to go
you cicada be kidding me!
i have such fond memories of funnel milk
new job opportunity – unfortunately it lacks upward mobility
you’re not fooling anyone nasa!
who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode
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