I told my wife I wouldn’t drink.

*stares in to the abyss*

This is what we call the long con.

The TV Repair Man Delivrs.

Vikings filed horizontal lines in to their teeth; no one person can say why this was done, apparently.

Give yourself credit, regularly.

If children were in charge of the world…

Fight the good fight.

Bless the toad man.

#freethenipple

Never go to Mars, actually.

Some people are worried about carbon footprints…

You’ve lost my patronage.

Cool it, Dalmer.

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro suggests pooping only every other day to reduce pollution

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