a seat, just for me? that’s the nicest thing someone’s ever done for me

no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos

no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos

This is really the only acceptable way to watch four hour movies

This is really the only acceptable way to watch four hour movies

even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life

even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life

toast and butter is an everyday phase

toast and butter is an everyday phase

there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person

there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person

the real reason millennials aren’t buying diamonds. Has nothing to do with ethics or morals

the real reason millennials aren’t buying diamonds. Has nothing to do with ethics or morals

Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”

Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”

you’re not fooling anyone nasa!

you’re not fooling anyone nasa!

It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel

It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel

this is how many sides a circle has

this is how many sides a circle has

you know that you know you’ve seen that actor before

you know that you know you’ve seen that actor before

jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!

jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!

i was without a phone once for 12 hours and it’s amazing how much attention i was able to pay to other things

i was without a phone once for 12 hours and it’s amazing how much attention i was able to pay to other things

who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode

who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode

i have such fond memories of funnel milk

i have such fond memories of funnel milk