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An actual e-mail I had to send to my professor yesterday…

An actual e-mail I had to send to my professor yesterday…
Am I too late for Christmas?
Am I too late for Christmas?
This how cashiers at a McDonald’s in Taiwan dress
This how cashiers at a McDonald’s in Taiwan dress
Monstrous Discrepancies
Monstrous Discrepancies
I Have Two Hands and Three foods
I Have Two Hands and Three foods
Mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women.
Mom thinks I need to stop objectifying women.
Hey God what ya making?
Hey God what ya making?
Cats and deaf people.
Cats and deaf people.
The Book of Life
The Book of Life
Books are surreal
Books are surreal
Your dreams aren’t silly.
Your dreams aren’t silly.
What having a crush is like.
What having a crush is like.
I love you dandelion.
I love you dandelion.
I believe in you, Bigfoot.
I believe in you, Bigfoot.
For someone already social awkward and with bad anxiety when a girl I am interested in does this it kills me!
For someone already social awkward and with bad anxiety when a girl I am interested in does this it kills me!
Dog warns parents of abusive babysitter.
Dog warns parents of abusive babysitter.
Just+NYC+things%26%238230%3B
Just NYC things…
Look+what+I+found%26%238230%3B
Look what I found…
It+makes+no+got+darn+sense%21
It makes no got darn sense!
It%26%238217%3Bs+not+even+an+issue%2C+Jim.
It’s not even an issue, Jim.
Join the conversation
Someone+back+at+HQ+celebrating.
Someone back at HQ celebrating.
Shaquille+O%26%238217%3BNeal+trolling+an+interview%2C+circa+1991.
Shaquille O’Neal trolling an interview, circa 1991.
The+problem+with+being+a+fatalist%26%238230%3B
The problem with being a fatalist…
1999+was+a+good+year+for+Google.
1999 was a good year for Google.
A+keychain+that+chooses+your+lotto+numbers+for+you%26%238230%3B
A keychain that chooses your lotto numbers for you…
Nice+chaise%2C+though.
Nice chaise, though.
I+miss+the+rains+down+in%2C+Lubbock%26%238230%3B
I miss the rains down in, Lubbock…
ROCKY%2C+ROAAAD%3F%21
ROCKY, ROAAAD?!