internal monologue needs a serious wellness check

I am my own worst enemy

She’s already cooler than everyone in middle school

my wardrobe has a phenomenal soundtrack

Imagine trying to wrestle a wild prosciutto

Why change perfection?

lack of social skills is now deep philosophy

future wedding vows will include pancakes

Great, now this song is permanently stuck inside

Every bite you take, I’ll be watching you…

He’s about to download a whole pallet

my salad is staring directly into my soul!

apologize to him immediately

Me looking for my phone while holding it

When the lava lamp takes over your brain

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