Why change perfection?

I am my own worst enemy

Can I pay for these with head scratches?

My last two brain cells trying to flirt

When does the “full adult” setting kick in?

my salad is staring directly into my soul!

Every bite you take, I’ll be watching you…

hyperfixations finally aligned perfectly!

He’s about to download a whole pallet

Two pounds of pure, unadulterated cookie dough flavor

When the lava lamp takes over your brain

The fridge shelf won, but I’m ready!

hoarder tendencies applied beautifully to digital audio

I am a solid ten for exactly four minutes

future wedding vows will include pancakes

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