internal monologue needs a serious wellness check

lack of social skills is now deep philosophy

I am my own worst enemy

my wardrobe has a phenomenal soundtrack

Imagine trying to wrestle a wild prosciutto

Why change perfection?

future wedding vows will include pancakes

She’s already cooler than everyone in middle school

Every bite you take, I’ll be watching you…

He’s about to download a whole pallet

my salad is staring directly into my soul!

hyperfixations finally aligned perfectly!

When the lava lamp takes over your brain

The vest says safety, the spikes say danger

I am a solid ten for exactly four minutes

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