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Get up, bruv.
1014 AWESOME
68 WTW
84 BORING
she thought ‘close enough’ and left
i forgot what i forgot
they came to cast and strut
“press 1 for treats, 2 for belly rubs”
genie: technically, i wasn’t wrong
100% good boy
“if it’s important, they’ll email”
runs on lettuce and ambition
“them ankles look seasoned”
hunger… my oldest companion returns
I lose my favorite Tupperware lid… you still lose your AirPods.
wind: nature’s stylist… with no license
heatstroke? not on my ranch
if serotonin had a mascot
not all heroes wear shirts
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powered by reptiles
add some new/old words to your repertoire
third times the charm
english, amirite?
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proud dad
cup of tea with satan
just a taste
self confidence clearly isn’t the issue
nice day for a light sweater
godzilla has awakened
clothes for drunk people
it’s not just a phase, mom
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