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he has a white-collar job and is divorced, currently engaged, and thinks he’ll be the best stepdad ever

You wouldn’t fry, an egg.
You wouldn’t fry, an egg.
Nice aviators, though.
Nice aviators, though.
Prehistory was metal AF.
Prehistory was metal AF.
You really can, though.
You really can, though.
Bae caught me sleep’n
Bae caught me sleep’n
A bronze doge and his art, circa Rotterdam.
A bronze doge and his art, circa Rotterdam.
The confusion is palpable.
The confusion is palpable.
Your chest freezer will thank you…
Your chest freezer will thank you…
It’s my puss in a box.
It’s my puss in a box.
You had a good run, Bud. RIP In Peace.
You had a good run, Bud. RIP In Peace.
And you’ll be grateful if you know what’s good for you…… – Brain probably.
And you’ll be grateful if you know what’s good for you…… – Brain probably.
Brought to you by the Dairy Association of Amerika
Brought to you by the Dairy Association of Amerika
Effective protesting of Maryland’s sodomy law, circa 1985.
Effective protesting of Maryland’s sodomy law, circa 1985.
Brother nut the brick person.
Brother nut the brick person.
Words.
Words.
it%26%238217%3Bs+a+real+blue+monday
it’s a real blue monday
leprecon
leprecon
time+to+party+like+ina+garten
time to party like ina garten
social+commentary+from+icarly
social commentary from icarly
Join the conversation
clever
clever
the+monkey+busters
the monkey busters
summer+is+officially+over
summer is officially over
the+spices+belong+to+me+now
the spices belong to me now
he+doesn%26%238217%3Bt+look+ready
he doesn’t look ready
he+must+be+a+dad
he must be a dad
the+cat+survived+the+zombie+apocalypse
the cat survived the zombie apocalypse
you+know+there+are+guys+who+would+try
you know there are guys who would try