Do not leave children unattended at Whole Foods.
this tweet about fire departments feels pretty on point
Do you know why I pulled you over, ma’am?
this is why i just buy new clothes when all my old ones are dirty
write the next line of this story
up? down? sideways
you were the chosen one. you were supposed to bring balance to your teeth, not ruin them!
and they told me the perfect husband doesn’t exist
owen has been keeping your cookie warm. of course you can trust owen
the journey to the final boss therapist is worth it if you’re competitive
It’s a love/hate relationship with my bank account
you will pay for your betrayal
undeniable facts about kevin lasagna
Nothing out of the ordinary here, just viggo mortensen and a horse eating breakfast together
how not to tell someone their std test results
Japan is still learning.
No thanks. Lost interest.
The one percent taste delicious.
Join the conversation
Oceans, fish, jump, China
When your friends are roasting you at a party
Doesn’t matter, got cancer.
The net is marble too, apparently.
J E L L O rocks.
Kombucha, a guide