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I requested minions…
1384 AWESOME
28 WTW
76 BORING
flat earthers were right the whole time
even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life
toast and butter is an everyday phase
the story of how this woman became an archaeologist is amazing
Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”
new job opportunity – unfortunately it lacks upward mobility
no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos
It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel
i have such fond memories of funnel milk
how i spend my time during a zoom call. this chart is accurate
jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!
you cicada be kidding me!
taking a break from pickpocketing to warm my bones with a hot drink
how to beat someone at chess when you’ve never played before
you’re not fooling anyone nasa!
You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.
To the soldiers, both here and gone.
Yo dawg welcome to my crib, let me show you around.
One of my fav shots of Martha $tewart
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You can work here and still have your dignity. – Denmark, probably.
Pam is very astute.
This brings joy.
I think this rabbit is getting ready to start a religion…
Sometimes lying is preferred.
Blue razz is life.
What a cute couple.
The Aztecs were a progressive people…
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