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lies I tell myself #481

when cats walk, the world stops
when cats walk, the world stops
Who knew turtles spark?
Who knew turtles spark?
hide and sock champion
hide and sock champion
words hit harder, apparently
words hit harder, apparently
no insults, just bird time
no insults, just bird time
not all heroes wear Wi-Fi
not all heroes wear Wi-Fi
call me fat again, I’ll purr
call me fat again, I’ll purr
no to math, yes to myth
no to math, yes to myth
X-Rays and X-Rage
X-Rays and X-Rage
a true byte of coleslaw history
a true byte of coleslaw history
I bring snacks, you bring property
I bring snacks, you bring property
yep, it’s called ‘adulting,’ sweetie
yep, it’s called ‘adulting,’ sweetie
that’s why it’s called fantasy
that’s why it’s called fantasy
are pants optional there too?
are pants optional there too?
no filter…just troll elegance
no filter…just troll elegance
When+I+go+fishing%26%238230%3B
When I go fishing…
I+declare+a+thumb+war%21
I declare a thumb war!
Will+work+for+idiots.
Will work for idiots.
It%26%238217%3Bs+all+on+you+Kevin.
It’s all on you Kevin.
Join the conversation
Meanwhile+in+Africa%26%238230%3B
Meanwhile in Africa…
30+%26%238211%3B+Love.
30 – Love.
Trolled.
Trolled.
Seems+legit%26%238230%3B
Seems legit…
I+feel+like+everybody+wants+a+piece+of+me.
I feel like everybody wants a piece of me.
The+original+plankster.
The original plankster.
Hipster+Marty+McFly.
Hipster Marty McFly.
To+the+tuna+factory%21
To the tuna factory!