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murder parrot
233 AWESOME
50 WTW
25 BORING
funny last day at work cake
how many babies before you’re a fullwife?
5 tomatoes
upset over fruit snacks
lettuce praise and relish him
heimlich maneuver tango
wine makes everything better
is your name written on the side?
the two unwritten rules of life
what it’s like after dating all 12 zodiac signs
Waiting in the shower for the hot water. Patience is required
just a little light reading before bed
it’s a shitzu
trying to make friends with the fish at an aquarium
horrible way of telling people we’re married
the hard part about divorce no one warns you about
he’s lived through every injury
he’s better at drawing then i’ll ever be
i’m too embarrassed to share mine
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chucks forever
it’s clearly a dragonball
700 years old and still standing
once you see it, you can’t unsee it
right swipe
an apple a day
they really hate the moon
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