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When you lie on the resume but land the job.
3035 AWESOME
70 WTW
48 BORING
Baby sized burritos for the win.
*snorts line of pepper* Bless me, Senpai…
Stop whispering at me, child.
Seven year old’s are better at Fortnite than you.
How to tell if your teacher plays Fortnite.
*official squawking*
Copies of The Adventures of Slutsof is free at state and national parks this weekend.
Having a rest atop Stalin’s head, circa 1942
Where are they know? Forest Gump edition.
No teeth, no problem.
Keanu would be proud.
Let me know what you are thinking!
Continuity of the spaghet.
Let them sing.
Birtches acquired…
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Grinding the Crack.
My girlfriend is a cat.
A Christian and an Atheist walk into a bar…
How wealthy people laugh.
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Chicken Little’s worst nightmare.
I don’t like birthdays anymore…
…I love you.
Blenderman.
Dr. Who Tardis trashcan.
Life hack: How to use an elevator without stopping.
I feel like God.
Duck. Rabbit.
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