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I am proud to be an American 🇺🇸 ðŸ•
1729 AWESOME
54 WTW
62 BORING
There’s always time for tea.
As a veteran recently out of the military.
Which came first?
Dance! DANCE!
I’m a virgin by choice.
A little Mitch Hedberg.
Your knight in shining armor…
Golden retriever for sale.
Busted!
What could possibly go wrong?
This clock would drive me insane…
Bangstaches.
An apple a day…
My schedule now that I have a full time job.
Trading old for new in Africa.
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Listen here, Dick…
*cringes in Mitt Romney*
You have no pasta here…
I CHOOSE YOUUUU
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grans always knew…
Release the loot!
I can’t interpret this beyond a desire for more malk…
I would watch lame movies with him…
When’s my fitting?
That Stephan even has an audience explains a lot, actually.
Pet the world.
Periods, right? …can I get an amen?
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