It’s quite simple, really.

Surprise boy to lift your spirits.

*watches Netflix happily*

Permission to cry.

Surprises for the drunk one

Actual conversation that actually happened for sure. 100 percent true.

How do I sign up for this?

Jokes on me…

Take off from Australia, land in China

How to break a heart

Writing is hard.

Burlington Mayor Bernie Sanders picks up trash on his own in a public park after being elected in 1981, his first electoral victory

I’d like to report a glitch in the matrix. -Trinity

Why you all mad, tho?

The Oxford comma, remains, important.

This bear naps.