Words

Words

Words

there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person

there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person

even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life

even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life

It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel

It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel

who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode

who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode

how to beat someone at chess when you’ve never played before

how to beat someone at chess when you’ve never played before

i was without a phone once for 12 hours and it’s amazing how much attention i was able to pay to other things

i was without a phone once for 12 hours and it’s amazing how much attention i was able to pay to other things

this is not the car you want to end up behind on the freeway

this is not the car you want to end up behind on the freeway

toast and butter is an everyday phase

toast and butter is an everyday phase

no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos

no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos

jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!

jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!

you know that you know you’ve seen that actor before

you know that you know you’ve seen that actor before

i have such fond memories of funnel milk

i have such fond memories of funnel milk

you’re not fooling anyone nasa!

you’re not fooling anyone nasa!

taking a break from pickpocketing to warm my bones with a hot drink

taking a break from pickpocketing to warm my bones with a hot drink

Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”

Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”