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zero respect, maximum personality

this is my only child
this is my only child
this is our last resort
this is our last resort
gee thanks for the notification, linkedin
gee thanks for the notification, linkedin
classic dad move
classic dad move
waitaminute…
waitaminute…
“sorry guys, don’t think i’ll make it…”
“sorry guys, don’t think i’ll make it…”
i am not even BOTHERING to open that
i am not even BOTHERING to open that
the effort in switching colors each word
the effort in switching colors each word
10…Unique…Things People Saw on the Subway
10…Unique…Things People Saw on the Subway
it’s too late to apologize
it’s too late to apologize
I dive-a at the rodent
I dive-a at the rodent
i have so many questions…
i have so many questions…
truly something magical
truly something magical
i guess i belong in a museum…
i guess i belong in a museum…
plz do not play me
plz do not play me
start+teaching+philosophy+earlier
start teaching philosophy earlier
it+%2Adrives%2A+me+crazy
it *drives* me crazy
dangummit+betty%2C+its+our+darn+neighbors+%26%238216%3Bgain
dangummit betty, its our darn neighbors ‘gain
Futurama+hit+right+in+the+feels
Futurama hit right in the feels
Join the conversation
i+was+just+trying+to+help
i was just trying to help
its+a+common+cycle
its a common cycle
the+name%26%238217%3Bs+boy%2C+good+boy
the name’s boy, good boy
gets+all+the+chicks
gets all the chicks
everyone+becomes+rudolph+instantaneously
everyone becomes rudolph instantaneously
wait%2C+that+wasn%26%238217%3Bt+supposed+to+happen
wait, that wasn’t supposed to happen
godspeed%2C+soldier
godspeed, soldier
yeah%2C+not+at+all%2C+right%26%238230%3B%3F
yeah, not at all, right…?