Shhhh, he's coming
how to beat someone at chess when you’ve never played before
no serial killer, ted bundy included, could match wits with me if i really applied by myself instead of binging on oreos
you’re not fooling anyone nasa!
you cicada be kidding me!
who pooped the bed? sounds like an it’s always sunny in philadelphia episode
i have such fond memories of funnel milk
the real reason millennials aren’t buying diamonds. Has nothing to do with ethics or morals
you know that you know you’ve seen that actor before
new job opportunity – unfortunately it lacks upward mobility
there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person
toast and butter is an everyday phase
taking a break from pickpocketing to warm my bones with a hot drink
this is how many sides a circle has
even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life
Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”