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I can’t believe I’ve done such a thing…
1174 AWESOME
79 WTW
213 BORING
algebra is like onion pie
adding “italian mcdonald’s skeleton” to my bucket list
why would you even have a cat if you’re not kissing their tiny soft forehead?
thanks for the reminder, ikea…
royale burrito with cheese
the power of positive affirmations
fast and furious but folders on your computer – each sequel is the same
this is my emotional support steak
jurassic park holiday special
he just couldn’t quite put his paw on what was off
but unlike in a video game you can’t start the level over
M. Night shyamalan memes because he wants you to knock at the cabin without giving credit to the original author
well that escalated quickly
the more you drink, the more political you get
this is how i became the fun uncle
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gravity doesn’t exist when you’re a goat
even einstein’s marriage was relative. It consumed his life
Best responses to tweet about “mystery flight”
there is no way the ice cream man didn’t see this person
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this is not the car you want to end up behind on the freeway
jesus was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple. good to know!
how to make your house smell like pillsburry dough butt
the story of how this woman became an archaeologist is amazing
how to beat someone at chess when you’ve never played before
It all sounds awful until you remember that statistically flying is still the safest form of travel
birds aren’t real so it doesn’t matter anyway
i was without a phone once for 12 hours and it’s amazing how much attention i was able to pay to other things
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