one reason you should never lie on your dating profile

that’s part of the point though, isn’t it?

just don’t say pete davidson three times in a row

thanks but no thanks

especially on a friday

i slept okay

tooting his own horn

the gift no one wants

centaur exterminators are so effective they’ve basically put themselves out of business

are you awake or ashleighp?

bamboozled!

i’m too old for this sh–

representative!!!!

he’s not mad, just disappointed

they get so mad!

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