moral compass was clearly also an antique

I didn’t sign up for this level of self-reflection

He’s not on the internet, but he owns it

cheat code

close enough

43 is the new 17

Is it a tree, or the idea of a tree?

I’m one “how’s work” away from laying on the rug

Can we make the trees look like curly fries?

I miss the static, but I don’t miss the hernia

100% prepared for a situation that doesn’t exist

blood type “Zero Ultra”

10 items or less? No, 10 minutes or more.

I’m not a regular adult, I’m a cool adult

The sign says “No,” his eyes say “Maybe”

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